Valuing oneself may be the single most important thing one can do for oneself in a lifetime.We talk about it, we hear about it, but what is done about it? The effects on one’s psyche also contribute to how one processes, functions, operates, responds, communicates, receives, and perceives information. Merriam-Webster defines self-esteem as confidence and satisfaction with oneself.  Social pressures on how and what society deems as “perfection” and what is accepted and what is not, based on background, and race, have been a major influence on self-perception and self-stigmas. How do we combat these perceptions? By building confidence and resilience and creating strategies to assist in bouncing back from life’s challenges. Some strategies include:

 

1. Daily affirmations and positive self-talk, that you read and recite around the same time each day.

2. Journaling and expressive writing to include gratitude and appreciation

3. Obsessing over the things we love about ourselves

4. Creating attainable value goals for ourselves each year.

 

Christian Nestell Bovee once stated, “Our first and last love is self-love.”

 

 

Robinson was a recent presenter at a conference in Washington, DC attended by a large group of women who are in programs, some being returned to the community, to help with the building of self-perception with self-care additives to boost enthusiasm as they face and overcome life’s hardships. The women were provided cosmetic kits, and she performed a cosmetic demonstration on makeup application tools, techniques, and looks for different occasions. The women were educated in a brief history lecture, on how these concerns date back centuries when women were not provided a choice to express how they would like to represent themselves in society as these choices were made by their male counterparts. The presentation also addressed how these issues are still concerns in the modern day and how women have evolved in self-expression, mainly in black and brown communities of all backgrounds.

 

 Her presentation also focused on educating the women on, “The Crown Act.” The Crown Act is a legislation that is seeking enforcement in all states and some countries. The legislation targets black and brown people who are being discriminated against by employers, and schools (mainly grades K through 12) due to their choices of self-expression, including natural hairstyles, dreadlocks, braids, and Bantu knots, for personal and religious reasons. This issue has impacted the lives of these communities and their self-perception in many ways, triggering the onset of mental health disorders and symptoms such as depression, anxiety, traumas, etc. Persons in these categories have either lost employment or have been suspended and even expelled from school due to the restrictions that have been put in place and their resilience in standing up for their civil rights. 

 

One of Robinson’s favorite poets Nikki Giovani once stated, “Deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect and make everyone else deal with you the same way.”

 

Self-esteem issues may be the core reason why American society, especially its children, are being diagnosed increasingly as having problems on many levels– mainly problems in school and at home. Feelings of isolation, peer pressure, violent behavior, and a host of other issues are the results.  Kendra Cherry among other psychologists, provides several important signs of either high or low esteem. First, self-esteem is defined as “your subjective sense of overall personal worth or value. Similar to self-respect, it describes your level of confidence in your abilities and attributes.”

 

Also, “healthy self-esteem can influence your motivation, your mental well-being, and your overall quality of life.” Accordingly, the following elements of healthy self-esteem are

 

1. A firm understanding of one’s skills
2. The ability to maintain healthy relationships with others as a result of having a healthy relationship with oneself
3. Realistic and appropriate personal expectations
4. An understanding of one’s needs and the ability to express those needs

 

 

Contrarily, people with low self-esteem will underestimate their abilities, feel less secure about their ability to try new things, and have difficulty getting along with others.  They may feel unlovable and unworthy.

 

Abraham Maslow, a famed psychologist who created the hierarchy of needs theory, suggests that individuals may need appreciation to reach self-actualization.

 

Many researchers state that factors such as racism and discrimination have negative effects on self-esteem. Genetics can also be important. However, life experiences seem most critical, and support from one’s family and friends appears to have a positive effect on building positive actualization. Carl Rogers, considered to be the most influential psychologist of the 20th century, calls this unconditional positive regard.

 

 

The best online therapy programs to understand and to build self-esteem include Talk space, Better help, and Regain. Also, one can seek advice from The Very well Mind Podcast Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Very well Mind Podcast shares strategies that can help you learn to truly believe in yourself, featuring IT Cosmetics founder Jamie Kern Lima.